Being kind to yourself
Often, being kind to ourselves is way down on our list of priorities and with the fast pace of the modern world, our emotional needs can be overlooked. Here are some simple ideas and considerations for living a life where you are kind to yourself- both through words and actions.
“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.“
Sometimes life is just not nice to us! And it really is OK to admit this. It is good to be positive but sometimes it is healthy and necessary to just sit with the true emotions we are feeling without trying to ‘get over it’ and find a positive spin. It is OK to feel upset, angry, hard done by, jealous, guilty, joyful, happy, knowing that feelings will and do change.
A colleague of mine recently coined a lovely phrase, when it all gets too much, she allows herself a good ‘power cry’. Allow the feelings and then allow yourself to move on from them.
Try this! If you’re having a bad day, write down how you are honestly feeling. When you have finished destroy it, rip it up, stamp on it or throw it in the fire and watch while it is consumed by the flames and disappears – it feels really good!
The gift of time:
“Self-love is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.”
The pace of life we live! Remember it is important to take time out just to be in the present moment. This can take its form in many ways, for example a 5 minute meditation, a bath, reading a book, a walk, some exercise, a massage etc. Whatever is your ‘you time’ it is important to regularly schedule it into your life. One of my favourite things to do is get out into nature and look at the beauty of the world. This gives me thinking time and makes me feel really peaceful.
Try this! Take some time to meditate. There are many excellent apps for this, including Calm , or if you have an Apple watch use Breathe. For some ideas of easy breathing exercises to help with this click here.
Be your own best friend:
“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”
Having harsh, unkind responses to our own actions and feelings can unfortunately come very naturally to us- we can be our own worst enemies. You wouldn’t speak to someone you love and respected that way, so why do it to yourself? Challenge the negative commentary with a more positive alternative, so ‘I look dreadful,’ might be challenged with ‘I like my outfit today’.
Try this: It may feel uncomfortable at first, but saying a positive affirmation to yourself in front of the mirror is a powerful way of challenging thoughts too, something like, ‘I am loved’, or ‘I love me’. It becomes less of a cringe the more your practise!
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance .”
Treating yourself with kindness is so important. Love yourself, looking for the positives in the way you act, look and go through life. Treat others as you wish to be treated, and expect the same.
Try this! Give yourself a gift! This can be as generous as is suitable to you and your budget but should be something that you really value. This is particularly important when you have really challenged yourself- reward your achievements. For me this is always a massage, reflexology treatment or spa experience!
Detox your relationships:
“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”
At times it can be easier not to challenge bad behaviour from those around us in the quest for a quiet life. Why is it we listen more to one critical voice than a chorus of positive, loving, comments? Chose to spend your time with positive influences in your life; those which make you feel considered and appreciated. Challenge bad or rude behaviour from those around you by not giving them your energy or time. Take your self-value from those who encourage you, inspire you and care about you.
Try this! Expect others to treat you as you treat them . Think about, who really makes you feel good in your life? Why is this? What do they do that you value? Perhaps you could tell them?
“Thank goodness for the good souls that make life better.”
Life isn’t always joyful. Sadly bad things happen to good people, sometimes the best people. If it’s someone you know reach out to them and simply let them know you care by simply making a call or sending a message.
If it’s you, it’s OK to draw the wagons round for a while but try not to stay shut off for long. Even though we don’t see loved ones or friends, they are there for us. Don’t be afraid to let them in.
Try this! Separate the ‘fair weather’ friends from the true ones by thinking about who it is you want to confide in or talk to when you are experiencing a challenging time? They are the souls to hold on to.
Let yourself be happy:
“You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
Give yourself permission to be happy. It is OK to find your ‘happy’ wherever, whenever and however feels right for you. Some people love to socialise lots, some like to stay in, some like to be in the countryside, some like to be in the city – be proud of whatever it is that ‘floats your boat’ and be true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ and do your thing! Be respectful of difference also and enjoy the rich diversity of people’s life choices all around you.
Try this! Say something kind, to those around and most importantly to your true, valuable and precious self.
Being kind to yourself:
Please comment and share the ways you find your ways of being kind to yourself.
For more about self-esteem click here.